Children of God

IF YOU ONLY EVER READ ONE STORY THAT I POST THEN PLEASE READ THIS ONE. 

 It's been another eventful week here in Romania!.

I could tell you a thousand stories but for today I will tell ONE hospital story

that will hopefully get you thinking a bit more seriously about who you are and why that's important.

The Child That Changed My Life:

I had one hour left to volunteer in the hospital and I asked the nurse on a

new floor if there were any orphan children.

She pointed to a room.

I entered and what I saw was shocking, heart-wrenching,and life-changing.

There, completely naked, was a little girl about 6 years old

tied to one of the bars of a small metal crib.

No sheets were on her bed, no underwear, no diaper.

No one else in the room.

Just this small, malnourished child with layers of tape around her wrist to keep her in place.

I gasped at the horrifying sight.

I have been very reasonable to this point with my posts and my feelings about Romania.

I have tried to be as open-minded and as non-judgmental as possible in these posts

but THIS little girl's living conditions are UNACCEPTABLE.

(The people in Romania, the orphanage, and the hospital are kind, wonderful people and yet, it was appalling to see a little girl like this. I must acknowledge that these wonderful hospital workers are doing the best they can with the knowledge and resources that they have available. I'm not angry with anyone...just deeply saddened by the state of things...)

I ran to the nurse to get an explanation.

She was from the country.

2 days ago her parents dropped her off at the ER and left her.

She can't speak--remember she's 6 or 7.

She uses her feet and legs as much as her hands.

She is very DIRTY.

She would rip her IV out of her arm so they had to tape her arm to her bed.

(I was told that I was not allowed to hold her or undo her restraints.)

I found her gnawing at her arm and she will probably have permanent scars now.

The nurses didn't even know what to do with her so they left her like that until they could figure something out.

I tried  to be okay with their logic in taping up this little girl.
At first I felt angry. 
My heart has begun to soften towards this situation as I realized that anger won't help 
this girl in any way. All I can do is offer any help that I can.

But I had no idea what to do to help her...

I did the only things that I could.

I cleaned her up the best I could, put a diaper on her--anything is better than naked--

brushed her hair, blew bubbles and balloons, smiled, and sang.

What did she do?

SPIT. 

HISSED.

BIT.

This child is wild. 

I truly wonder where in the world this girl came from and what her life 

was like that led to her to be like this.

It literally breaks my heart. 

I still can't wrap my head around it.

It was like I was in a movie.

 A horror movie.

For moments all I could do was stand there and stare at this little girl writhing, biting, and spitting at me and just wanting to cry.

No child EVER deserves to be brought to this.

I wanted to rip those restraints off, pick her up and just hold her and tell her that 

I wouldn't leave her and that I would take her home and she wouldn't have to be

scared or alone anymore. I wanted to say that she was safe and everything would be okay.

But I didn't.

I couldn't promise that.

I was helpless...I felt completely useless.

All I could do was try to hold her hand and calm her down while trying to be as happy and sweet as I possibly could without screaming that this wasn't right!
I did everything I could think of to comfort her...
Looking back I can think of this scripture in Matthew 25:

Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom 
prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: 
I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: 
I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Naked, and ye clothed me: 
I was sick, and ye visited me: 
I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, 
when saw we thee and hungered, and fed thee? 
or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
When saw we thee a stranger and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

And the Kind shall answer and say unto them, 
Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one 
of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

This scripture brings such peace to me as I realize that as I reach out as much as
I can to her I am in return serving the Lord.
 I love the Lord and I would do anything for Him.
He showed us how to care for those around us.
--He was the ultimate example of charity and love--
  I hope that my sincere love for His children can reflect my love of Christ
and also reflect the love that Christ has for these children.
It has taken me a few days to attempt to make sense of all of this...
and this is all I've got so far:

The Savior loves this little girl.

He loves her so much and knows her perfectly.

He can comfort her in a way that I cannot.

She CAN make it through this challenging time in her life and she doesn't have to do it alone.

She will become such an incredible person (I just know it!) and her life can be beautiful despite the cruelty that has been shown to her thus far.

 The Savior is there and LOVES her dearly and will be with her throughout it all.

He will NOT abandon her no matter what happens to her.

The Lord is on HER side.

He has a plan for her.

This little one, so precious in the sight of the Lord, has angels 

watching over her to bear her up in times when she is can't do it alone.

A precious, and royal, daughter of our beloved Heavenly Father will not be forsaken.

He will guide her and protect her.

I thought of how Christ tells us to leave the ninety-and-nine and go attend to the one.

This girl is the one.

She is lost, alone, and scared.

I want to do everything in the world that I can to help her and I will.

But I know that it won't be enough and I instead am grateful that she is so precious to the Lord that He can make up for what I cannot do for her. 

It fills me with wonder and with awe to think that "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God."

 Let me just end this story with a quote by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf that says this all much more eloquently than I ever could. This quote applies to this little girl, to the children here and throughout the world, to me, and to all of you as well.

At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. 

But always remember—you matter to Him!

You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him. Have hope and faith in that promise.

 God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him. May we ever believe, trust, and align our lives so that we will understand our true eternal worth and potential. 

Just in case you were wondering who you were or who these children are. Watch this cute little video and you'll find out. 

 

I cried so hard when I watched this video because it says "has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear." While I have been given just that these children have not.

They too are children of God and I earnestly

pray that these children will realize that they have others in their lives 

who can lead them and guide them. 

They are children of God.

You are a child of God.

Do not forget that your children, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc. are children of God

and are so precious and have infinite worth!

 If the only thing that I can accomplish here is to show these children

(through kindness and love) that Jesus Christ loves them then 

this trip will be a success.

I love Romania and I am so grateful that 

I have the opportunity to be here to serve these children!

:)

 

Are You Living Your Dream? (Parts 1 & 2)

This post is split into 2 sections:

PART 1: 

Serious Business, Inspiration, Hospital, Babies, Etc.

 On Friday I was working in the hospital and I met the most incredible doctor.

I had just fed a newborn baby and was rocking her to sleep when he came in to meet me.

A kind, 30 some year old, man who actually spoke English!

(Having charades be your main form of communication is taxing after a while so I love meeting English speakers.)

All I can say about this man is that he is INSPIRING.

He told me that the baby was only 12 days old and that the mother abandoned her.

The day after being abandoned she came down with pneumonia.

I realize that this might just be a consequence but thinking about it in that context

makes it seem like the sweet baby's body started giving up after her mother gave

up on her...heartbreaking.

 

(This baby SMILES when I kiss her. This picture captures it almost perfectly!)

The doctor felt the same way--heartbroken.

I talked with him for over an hour and I wish I could have recorded it.

We had such a beautiful conversation about medicine, children, and God that left us both emotional.

This is paraphrased but I'll do my best to relay the main points of the message:

"I'm from Jordan and I have never seen a problem like this in my life.

Now I see it everyday--mother's not able to care for their children, they're drunk, or on drugs, or simply have no sense of responsibility.

 This hospital is filled with abandoned children.

I am so blessed that I have this degree so that I can care for the physical needs of these children to the best of my ability.

I assume that you are Christian? (Yes, I am.)

Good, I am Muslim. We both believe in God.

I feel like I am connected to God in this hospital just as a priest in a church of worship is 

connected to God.

These children are just beginning their lives and yet many of them are so close to death.

I feel like the children provide a type of perspective in which we can see the truly important things in this world. God, family, homes, love, etc.

You believe that these children have souls, yes? (Yes, I do.)

You see, I cannot just care for the physical needs of the children here.

I must remember that they have souls.

 They are close with God as I am and I must do my best to heal not 

only their bodies but to make sure that their souls are

being healed from the cruelty, unfairness, and abandonment that

has already been introduced to them.

...

If I had the chance to go back and choose a different profession,

perhaps one that would be easier on my family, I would choose this same one every time.

Nothing parallels it.

To see children suffering is painful to me but knowing that I can in part relieve that 

pain is what keeps me going.

I am living my dream but I do not do this work for myself.

I do it for God.

I do it for my children.

I think of my children as though they were these children in the hospital.

I love my children and I would do anything I could for them if they were ill.

I must do the same for these children.

What you are doing here (volunteering) is worth more than you realize.

These children don't even realize right now how wonderful it is.

It is simple yet vitally important for their survival.

Thank you so very much!"

No. Thank YOU! 

After he left, I held that baby with a little more purpose and a LOT more love 

(if that is even possible).

I had talked to my Mom the other day and told her that one of my fears was that

I would become desensitized to the suffering that I do/will see.

I hope I don't and I don't think I will. 

Not now that I have had this talk with Dr. Inspiration. 

I believe that we can all contribute beauty to this world and it is often through

children that this is accomplished.

Are you living your dream? 

Yes!

 PART 2:

Silliness, Iasi, Hair Cutting, Bread, Missionaries, Etc.

I LOVE my life right now.

I LOVE these darling little people that I get to spend my days with.

I LOVE kissing babies and getting kisses in return.

I LOVE changing diapers and getting these

 kiddos as clean as possible.

I LOVE singing lullaby songs.

I LOVE Romania.

I LOVE Romanian food.

I LOVE the people in Romania.

I LOVE hospitals, orphanages, doctors, nurses, 

workers, my fellow interns, etc.

I LOVE my life.

Here is a picture of one of my favorite little spots that I walk by every day: this little overgrown garden, humble homes, and through the middle is the city of Iasi!

This is another street picture. 

 Sunday evenings can be a little dull...

so what do my roommates decide to do to spice it up?

Yup, we have a hair cutting party.

Bangs anyone?

 Where was I when this glorious occasion was commencing?

I was laughing, taking pictures, snorting, and being SUPER excited

to see my roomies cut their own hair.

 

I was REALLY supportive of this as our Sabbath day activity.

Maybe next week we will dye their hair?

Please?

Monday Night:

Tonight at FHE (Family Home Evening) was the last time we would see Sora (Sister) Bennett.

:(

(Right: Sister Bennett; Left: Sister Atkins)

She has finished her mission in Romania and will be going home this week!

Thank you so much Sister Bennett for all of your help, love, support, your unbelievable example, and testimony!

This is a picture of the lovely women in our FHE group!

5 Quick comments about this next picture:

1. This is Bianca. She lives next door to us and speaks great English, is wonderful, sweet, and beautiful.

2. Seriously, how does she have such adorable rosy cheeks?!

3. I came straight from the hospital so I am wearing my spit-up covered scrubs. Sorry for being gross.

4. My "deer-in-the-headlights" look is because the picture wasn't taking and when a picture takes too long I resort to my SUPER fake smile. 

This same creepy smile can be found on almost every I.D. card and family photo I own...it's sad. 

5. I am holding in my hand a DELICIOUS loaf of sweet bread made by one of the sisters in the church.

Notice how it is like the size of my head?

I ate it all...and half of another one. :)

It was really good, okay?

  

 I didn't lie. Here is the evidence that I ate it all.

 

That's all for now folks.

More adventures in Romania are soon to grace the pages of this blog.

Await it anxiously.

P.S.-- I hope you are all doing well and showering much more often than I am!

:)

Cheese Scented Babies

So milk products here are different.

Everything I eat tastes like really...unique cheese. :)

Let me walk you through why this is important.

1. Babies are fed milk-like formula mystery food.

2. Babies spit up. A LOT.

3. It is HOT. 

When I say hot I mean it! These rooms aren't allowed to have the windows

open so it is like setting foot on the surface of the Sun!

4. Unless there is a worker/nurse right there (and then decides to change or even just wipe down the baby) the baby will lie in its spit up for...an extended period of time. :)

5. Babies REEK like rotten cheese. 

 

Stinking cute babies.

But STINKING cute babies.

**These workers care a lot about these children but with so many kiddos I am sure it is very challenging to clean, feed, medicate, etc. X number of children every day. So I blame no one for the stinky babes. :)** 

Today there was a little 3 month old baby that hadn't been bathed since the dawn of time.

I saw her yesterday and she was covered in her own spit up but I wasn't allowed to pick her up or change her clothing.

Today she was STILL covered in yesterday's mess and had some fresh vomit added to it.

Awesome.

The nurses were very kind today and gave me permission to do whatever I wanted.

There wasn't a sink in sight 

(nor was there any hope of them allowing me to actually bathe her) 

so I changed her diaper, wiped her down the best I could with baby wipes and sanitizer, changed her clothes, and to top it all off --and to get rid of some of the lingering cheese smell-- I rubbed that baby down with Bath and Body Work's Sweet Pea body lotion I had in my backpack.

YIKES!

Nurses came running!

They couldn't stop smelling that sweet smelling baby!

Ha ha ha ha! I thought I was in trouble but they didn't mind at all.

Who doesn't love a sweet smelling babe?!

 I only was able to spend about an hour and a half with her so

  I kissed her like crazy and wished her luck for her surgery (that is hopefully tomorrow).

This picture is an exaggeration but this is how I thought she looked!

So much has happened since I last blogged so I will quickly catch you up!

We went to a baptism! This beautiful young woman Claudia in our branch

 was baptized last week and we were all able to attend! 

Two girls from the gang, Jodie and Jenna, sang a lovely hymn for it while 

I played the piano.

 --People, that was the first time I have played the piano

 in public in YEARS! Let me say that I was pretty happy that I didn't pass out!--

Here is a group picture of all of the girls here! I don't think I have posted ONE full picture yet so here we all are. 

Gorgeous? 

YUP.

Claudia is the one right next to me with dark hair.  I LOVE HER!
(Picture courtesy of Amanda's Facebook)

This next part is important.

Pay attention!

We discovered the most delicious thing in the WORLD.

Covrig. 

It's like a soft pretzel...filled with sweet, sweet goodness.

Apple, cherry, caramel, CHOCOLATE.

Chocolate is my favorite. 

YUM!

PEOPLE. It is only 1.50 LEI.

= about 50 CENTS!!!!!!!!!

I swear this recipe was invented by angels so that

we could have a little piece of Heaven here in Romania.

Thank the Heavens! 

**This is Britta and I on our way to the hospital.**

Covrig after the orphanage, before the hospital...

basically any time I leave my apartment...

I walk everywhere so it's okay right?

If I come back weighing in at 500lbs. you'll know why! Ha!

Monday we started our FIRST day at the hospital.

In case you didn't know I LOVE hospitals.

I feel like I use the word love frequently in this blog but I suppose 

I am just a loving person! 

(Or I desperately need a thesaurus...)

Well, I ADORE hospitals! :)

It's strange I know but I get really excited even if I SEE one.

I couldn't have been a happier volunteer than when I set foot inside that 

blessed place!

I wander the halls of the hospital asking for orphan children and I am 

directed into what at first glance are empty rooms but they actually have THIS in them.

I found this picture on the internet but it is pretty much exactly what 

it looks like when I go up to a crib! *Spit up included*

I know I shouldn't have been surprised by what I found but my years of babysitting

had filled my mind with something entirely different :

plush pillows, cushions, blankets, toys, a mobile, and lullaby music playing.

 Nope.

It's like this.

 

Hey, at least they have a bed right?

Right. :)

What do I do in the hospital?

I change diapers.

I wipe noses.

I hold and sing.

I clean up vomit. (All the time.)

I feed (the cheese in a bottle stuff).

There are a lot of children and surprising there are a lot of orphans

in the hospital that need some loving!

I am unbelievably grateful to be here and to wipe their little

noses and clean up their vomit!

SPOTLIGHT

 -Henry-

Yesterday I was on the prowl for babies in the hospital.

After using my broken Romanian

I was directed into a large empty room with one incubator in it.

What did I find?

Something pretty close to this.

But with a hat and content face more like this.

ADORABLE.

My heart just melted!

 Here was not just a baby. But an 8 DAY old baby.

Abandoned at 8 days and all alone in the world.

 (Even his room was empty!)

This sweet little boy doesn't even have a name yet.

Since every baby needs a name I named him Henry.

:)

(Henry is from Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey-- Mr. Henry Tilney--now 

he will definitely grow up to be a little gentleman!)

I came back to see him today and again I found him alone. :(

His health problems are not too severe but I still am not allowed to pick him up.

He has cords and pumps galore and so I hold his little hands, stroke his hair, rub his back, and sing.

(softly and slightly off key but he doesn't mind!)

I spend all day with orphans. 

I spend all day with special needs orphans and very sick orphans.

Yet, I haven't cried over a child like I have this one...

 I just couldn't help thinking, "How could anybody abandon you? You are PERFECT! 

You are brand new! Soft, cuddly, searching brown eyes, tiny, innocent, beautiful, sweetly cooing, and just PERFECT! How could anyone not want you, want to keep you, love you, love EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU????!!!!"

Thank goodness I was alone with him or else the nurses might have asked me to leave if they saw me silently crying over this little baby boy...

His precious life has just begun...I...I just pray that someone will adopt him...

My mind was racing as I was thinking about all of the things that my lovely nieces and nephew had when they were born that this little one doesn't even know he is missing...

  All the luxury items in this picture are wonderful but the most important one is that woman right there. 

That is what this child needs. 

SOMEONE.

Anyone.

I think what broke my heart most what thinking that this little unnamed baby doesn't even know that he is alone...

He isn't old enough to know that yet...

I hope he NEVER has to find that out. 

Please be adopted Henry, oh please!

I love the orphanage that I volunteer at but I would give anything to see him not go there and instead go to a family that will hold him more than once a day, feed him REAL formula, and appreciate him for the brilliant child of God he is!

...I suppose that's enough of my wishful thinking for one day. 

I'll end with this then...

It's basically how I feel about these tiny humans... :) 

Oh Pooh Bear, you speak words of darling wisdom!

 

My Little BUNDLE of Joy

 Today was a good day. :)

A rainy day in Iasi is the perfect time to go to the orphanage!

All the children are bundled up like crazy in little stocking caps, fuzzy pants,

blankets, and have heaters in every room.

What a perfect day for cuddling with sweet little ones!

 This week we have gotten 4 new babes in my unit!

They've come from the hospital, other orphanages, and who knows where else!

Two days ago: 

One little boy that had just come in (he's 2) was shaking and hyperventilating he was SO

scared. How could you not be? 

You're all alone, in a new place, and will be there 24/7 with other orphans just like you until who knows when.

It reminded me of a quote from Mother Teresa: 

 “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”  

After a while he teetered over to me and I picked him up.

He clung to me so tightly his little hands turned white. 

Then he started to just sob. :(

I rocked him for a long time until he calmed down. 

Today he is SO much better.

Today was a repeat of that experience except with a new baby with Down Syndrome and a little 2 year old girl with a failing heart condition. They are such troopers. I can't imagine being all alone in the world...

But you know something? 

They are NOT alone.

They have their Heavenly Father,

They have the wonderful orphanage workers.

They have me.

:)

It is  my job right now to make sure they know they ARE SO loved.

 (P.S.--I am like a ROCK when I am in the orphanage--no tears from me or any emotion other than happy, happy, happy. But once I get home I think about how scared and lonely they must have felt/feel and it breaks my heart...)

That was my day...how was yours? :)

Since I have so many kiddos I will do a spotlight of one for each post:

SPOTLIGHT:  

Emily

One of the children, let's call her Emily, was the first one I picked up today.

She is darling! She can't speak, or walk, or even sit up by herself, and her eyes go everywhere.

 But once she finds your eyes it's like she can't stop staring at you!

She's about 3 years old but I don't know how much she actually understands.

I still haven't gotten her write-up so I don't even know what she has...

REGARDLESS of what she has I spend as much time as I can loving her to pieces!

I held her and sang Disney songs to her and danced around the room with her.

She loves when I sing the song from Enchanted "How Do You Know".

It's SO cute when she gets excited about that one!

Her little arms and legs are stiff and she jerks her little body pretty often.

Whenever I kiss her on her cheek she gets the BIGGEST smile on her face and makes happy little noises!

Holding her is like nothing else I've ever experienced!

The absolute LOVE that I feel for this little girl already is overwhelming.

When I look at her I can just tell how much our Heavenly Father adores her!

I feel that way whenever I am with any of the children actually.

These are the most precious little people I have every had the honor to meet.

Maybe I sound silly since these aren't my own children but you know what?

I feel like they are mine.

I've caught myself reading child development books, parenting guides on how to properly teach your children, looking up fun songs to sing, etc. 

 I'm concerned for them all the time and I miss them

 RIGHT NOW.

I am so grateful that I to get to care for this little angel. 

Even if it's just for a little while...

 No, this isn't her but this is a cute kiddo too. 

I feel like you need to see some sweet little faces even though they aren't my little ones!

Let me just end this post with a quote from President Boyd K. Packer:

"[The] next time you cradle a child in your arms, you can have an inner vision of the mysteries and purposes of life."

I love that quote. Love it SO much.

It is a perfect example of how special each and every one of these children is

and how much potential they have!

Well, I hope you all are doing fantastic wherever you are.

If you have kids, siblings, anyone you care about...

if they are close to you right now here is a challenge:

Kiss them, hug them, squeeze them, tell them how much you love them.

Those little things are the big things and they are so precious and yet often taken for granted.

Many of these children don't receive those little things and yet need them more than anything!

So on that note... 

Te iubesc!

I love you!

P.S.--I start working in the hospital on MONDAY!
HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prep yourself for an extra dose of oohing and awing!